«

»

Apr
14

Don’t Drive Me Crazy

A little bit of advice to the rash drivers I encounter daily in Dubai:

  • The road is not the place to display your so-called skill set; get qualified for one of those car racing competitions to satisfy your need for speed
  • I don’t mind read – so please turn on the indicator when you want to switch lanes or turn left/right
  • Red signal indicates STOP – stop your car and stop honking at me. I’m not going to budge till the signal turns green
  • I don’t like scratches or dents on my car – stop driving so close to me that will make me want to dent your car instead
  • Learn whose right of way it is – if you don’t agree, be prepared to hear a mouthful from me
  • Don’t drive at a speed of 120 Km/h in the middle/slow lanes – you can exhibit your speeding skills in the fast lane
  • Don’t flash your lights at me when I’m driving at the maximum speed limit – I will not give way if your speed is above the maximum speed limit
  • The yellow line indicates demarcation of the emergency lane – mad rush to get to office or meet your date is not termed as emergency
  • If you need to go to the extreme right stop cutting my lane on the extreme left
  • Zigzag lanes do not exist – only straight lanes exist; if you failed at geometry, stop making us pay for it
  • Guys driving bulky cars – you do not intimidate me; guys driving  smaller cars what makes you think me in a SUV will be terrified of you – get over yourselves.
  • My fellow women, cars are not meant for multitasking, focus on the road not on the mirror; there will be nothing left to focus on, if you choose the latter.
  • Take some time off your phone – no one will die if you do not reply to the call/sms/email/bb message/tweet/FB update for few minutes, but if you do so while driving – you might definitely die and kill me in the process as well.
  • If you have failed to come first in any other space in your life, the roads are definitely not the place to compensate for it – Stop racing me around, I care two hoots.

Lastly, if you are done with your life, feel free to end it – just don’t make that decision regarding mine!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>