Author: Minal Page 3 of 42

A small dose of my life's loves - Cricket, Music, Dance, Mumma-Papa, MDH, Friends, Family... All what make me who I'm today

Malvani Crab Masala

Crabs are so dear to everyone in my family and I’m the odd one out to not eat them. I have tried crab cakes or crab mince but not been able to develop a taste for the typical Malvani Crab Curry as my mother makes it. MDH is a foodie (you already know that by now if you have been reading this blog) and crabs are way way close to his heart (or rather stomach) . I wanted to learn how to cook this curry and after having done so I can proudly claim it turns out quite super – so here is the recipe for you all.

Ingredients:

1 Kg crabs – cleaned and if large have them cut into halves to separate the claws and the main body.

Onions – 6 medium sized fine chopped

Turmeric powder– 2 tea spoons

Ginger Garlic Paste – 2 table spoons

Kala Masala (Black masala) – 4-6 tablespoons depending on how spicy you want to make the curry. My recommendation the spicier the curry the better the taste.  The Kala Masala is a Maharashtrian masala which is easily available in stores and mainly used for all non-veg curries.

Coconut Paste – 3-4 table spoons

Salt to Taste

Preparation:

Clean the crabs well and apply little salt and set them aside.

Heat oil in pan, about 3-4 tablespoons and add finely chopped onions to it. Sauté till the onions are dark brown and the oil begins to ooze out from the sides.

kajuchi bhaaji

Add ginger garlic paste and sauté for 4-5 minutes. Add turmeric powder and sauté for 2-3 minutes. Then add the Kala Masala powder in the given proportion and salt to taste.

Add the crab pieces and mix well. Add  3-4 cups of boiling water and let the curry cook on medium flame.

While the onions are turning dark brown and the crabs are getting cooked – prepare the coconut paste on the side as below.

Roast dry grated coconut – 1 cup till medium brown in a pan and set aside. Then dry roast 1 chopped onion and 1-2 garlic petals in a pan. Roast till the mixture turns light brown. Then grind all 3 ingredients into a thick paste. The paste should be smooth and you should not be able to feel the coconut particles. You can make this paste in bulk and the same is used in chicken/mutton gravies as well as various pulses commonly made in Marathi households.

kajuchi bhaaji

Once the crabs are 3/4th cooked in the curry add the coconut paste (3-4 tablespoons) and let the mixture cook on low flame. Keep stirring the mixture every 10 minutes. Add boiling water depending on how thick/thin curry you wish to have. We prefer thick curry. Crabs take time to cook and let the gravy cook for 20-30 minutes on low flame. Once the colour of the shells of the crab legs turns orange/reddish you know the crabs are done.

PicsArt_1378491943810crab 2

 

Add little lime juice and garnish the gravy with fresh coriander leaves fine chopped and serve it with Chapattis or what we Maharashtrians love – Tandalachi Bhakri ( Rice Roti)

crab 1crab 5

Enjoy your crab curry – try it out and let me know how it turned out.

The Key

3 days had passed and I continued to ignore her loss. She has always been around, must be hiding somewhere and playing her cat and mouse game with my memory again. Yesterday despite my repeated attempts to recollect where I had last left her I simply could not remember where she had hidden herself.

I checked all the places at home where I tend to carelessly leave her , hunted every corner of the drawers and she was still not to be found.

I had almost given up hope of finding her and the only solution I could see was replacing her. I would have to reset all connections – between the new her and me – between the new her and my home.

I don’t lose my possessions easily – almost never have. And she is an important one. In one last attempt before I could accept that I had misplaced her; I emptied the handbag and still found nothing; and then I caught her in my hands but I still could not see her. A small hole in the inside pocket of the purse and the house key had slipped in between the gaps. I finally managed to take her out from her hiding space and I sensed a huge relief in my mind.

She reminded me of the relationships I often take for granted, even if they disappear for a few days I still don’t go looking for them , I know they will be around. And when they don’t turn up as I expect them to, it puts me in a frantic state of mind. I find myself chasing them and wondering what I did wrong, what is it that I had said, what is it that I had done, what is it that I had forgot.

I can’t lose them – the similarity to my house key ends there, if I lose my key, I’ll replace her and enter my house, but what about those relationships I lost? Will I be able to replace them and move on?  And I already know the answer – I cannot. They are inseparable from me – and I won’t be the same person without them.

And it is almost like they read my mind. They are just testing me and they quietly slip back in the same place I knew I had left them and make me realize that without them I’d be lost.

They are still around, they will always be – in the one corner of my heart – they are the key to my existence – and they want me to seek them, to reach out to them like that little house key of mine hidden in the corner of my handbag.

Kajuchi Bhaaji (Cashewnut Veggie)

Don’t look surprised at the title of this dish. Kajuchi Bhaaji is an absolute delicacy in my family and even though cashew-nuts are very famous along the coastal line of Maharashtra and in Goa – this dish is not found easily. This is my mother’s speciality and I’m yet to master the taste her dish has but I guess I will never get to her level because as they say the magic of cooking rests in the hands of the cook.

Mom makes 3 varieties of this dish – in Marathi ”sukka” kalvan (dry gravy), the curry and the curry modified with the addition of egg. Today I’ll share the recipe of the sukka kalvan which is my favourite.

The cashewnuts are not the dry or salted ones that you will generally get in the market. These are taken fresh from the fruit and very popularly known as “Ole Kaju” (wet cashewnuts). They are dried in the sun along with the skin. You can store them in a cool storage for 5-6 months. They are available only for 2 months in April and May, so I pick up in bulk and stock them at home so that I can make the dish over the next 6 months.

Ingredients:

30-40 cashewnuts.

Onions – 4 medium sized fine chopped

Turmeric powder– 2 tea spoons

Kala Masala (Black masala) – 4 tablespoons. This is a Maharashtrian masala which is easily available in stores and mainly used for all non-veg curries.

Coconut Paste – 3-4 table spoons

Salt to Taste

Preparation:

Soak the cashewnuts in water for 8-10 hours (preferably overnight or in the morning if you plan to make the dish in the evening). Peel of the skin before making the dish. Split the cashewnuts from the top into 2 equal parts as shown

kajuchi bhaaji

Heat oil in pan, about 3-4 tablespoons and add finely chopped onions to it. Sauté till the onions are dark brown and the oil begins to ooze out from the sides.

kajuchi bhaaji

Add turmeric powder and sauté for 2-3 minutes. Then add the cashewnuts and sauté for 4-5 minutes. Then add the Kala Masala powder in the given proportion and salt to taste. Add  2 cups of boiling water and let the curry cook on medium flame.

While the onions are turning dark brown and the cashewnuts are getting cooked – prepare the coconut paste on the side as below.

Roast dry grated coconut – 1 cup till medium brown in a pan. Then dry roast 1 chopped onion and 1-2 garlic petals in a pan. Roast till the mixture turns light brown. Then grind all 3 ingredients into a thick paste. The paste should be smooth and you should not be able to feel the coconut particles. You can make this paste in bulk and the same is used in chicken/mutton gravies as well as various pulses commonly made in Marathi households.

kajuchi bhaaji

Once the cashewnuts are 3/4th cooked in the curry add the coconut paste (3-4 tablespoons) and let the mixture cook on low flame. Keep stirring the mixture every 10 minutes. Cashewnuts take a long time to cook – so let the gravy cook for half hour on low flame. Then check if the cashewnuts melt into the mouth, they should become really soft. Once you are sure they have, garnish the gravy with fresh coriander leaves fine chopped and served with Chapattis, Rotis or Naan or what we Maharashtrians love – Tandalachi Bhakri ( Rice Roti)

kajuchi bhaaji 1

Hasselback Potatoes

There are days at work when I’m completely drained out (and of late there have been too many much to my chagrin). The only thing that can get me refreshed is to cook up a good dish; and to my luck I chance upon recipes like this one shared on LifeHacker.

I did a bit of my own modification – I backed it for 30 minutes instead of 50 as mentioned in the link and at a temperature of 350 degree Celsius after having pre-heated the oven at 425 degree Celsius.

This one is very easy to make. Slice the potato as shown – try to make as thin slices as you can. The thinner the slices, the crispier they get at the ends. Grease the potato with olive oil (bare minimum), pepper and salt.

After 20 minutes of baking the potatoes –  I add some herbs such as parsley, rosemary and thyme. Not the fresh ones but the dried ones and sprinkled some parmesan cheese. Then baked the potatoes for another 10 minutes and the result was a scrumptious dinner for both of us given that these days I’m back to my light dinner diet.

hasselback potatoes

When I read up further on this recipe I found suggestions to add cheese slices, bacon etc to the potatoes and bake them. That is to be tried next time – I don’t eat bacon but am sure MDH would love to try it out.

Fish and Prawns Fry

How long has it been since I updated this section of my blog! I have been lazy and not posted any recipes though I have bombarded folks with the food pictures on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp and though they have got  many “likes”; I have also got abuses for not posting the recipes. So a huge sorry to all my friends and here I start with some fish and prawns fry recipes – make up for excellent quick starters. My father’s family hails from Guhagar, Ratnagiri in Konkan and I’m married into a Goan household – these fish/prawns fry specialities are a must in every Konkan/Goan fish-eating household. Try them and do let me know how they turned out.

The tip for frying fish – heat the oil in the pan well, try to take minimal oil and keep adding oil slowly depending on how much the fish soaks up the oil, and while frying fish maintain low flame and the let the fish cook in peace. Be careful while frying Bombil (Bombay Duck) – delicate hands a must for turning and frying this particular fish.

Red Masala Rava Fry:

This marination can be used for most fishes – Pomfret, Surmai (King Fish), Bombil (Bombay Duck), Verlya (Similar to whitebait), Bangda (Mackerel) and even prawns.

Proportions are for 1/2 Kg fish:

Marination Ingredients:

Ginger Garlic Paste – 1.5 tablespoons

Turmeric – 1 tea spoon

Red Chilly Powder – 2-3 table spoons (depending on how spicy you can consume)

Kokum (Garcinia Indica) – 7-8 petals.

Salt to taste

Lemon juice – 1-2 tea spoons

Take 1-2 tea spoons water in small bowl and mix the above ingredients well to form a nice thick paste. Then marinate the fish in this paste for atleast 1/2 to 1 hour before frying. My mother-in-law gives me an additional goan garam masala powder which I tend to add to the mixture to get an added spicy flavor.

The Coating

Rava (semolina) and rice powder are mixed together in the proportion of 2:1. A cup of this mixture is more than sufficient for a coating for 1/2 kg fish. Take the marinated fish and roll it delicately in this dry mixture till all sides are well coated in this mixture.

Shallow fry the fish on low flame ensuring that the mixture is not burnt. Let the fish fry for atleast 15-20 minutes and turn it in equal intervals to ensure both sides are cooked well. Cooking on low flame helps cook the fish really well and gives a firm crispy coating.

Serve hot with a tinge of lemon.

Bombil , Pomfret and Prawn Fry

bombil and prawns frybombil-pomfret-prawn

Surmai Fry

surmai fry

 Bangda Fry ( While being cooked and one already ready to serve)

bangda fry

Verlya Fry

verlya fry

If you are particular about oil – you can use the same marination to grill the fish/prawns without the coating. Still tastes great.

Grill Pomfret

grill pomfret

Green Masala Fry:

This marination generally works well only with Pomfret and Surmai.

Marination Ingredients:

Ginger Garlic Paste – 1.5 tablespoons

Turmeric – 1 tea spoon

Green Chilly & Coriander Paste – 4-5 green chillies (depending on how spicy you can consume), 12-15 fresh coriander stems with leaves, 5-6 mint leaves. Grind this mixture in a smooth thick paste. Use 3-4 tablespoons of this paste in the marination. The balance can be preserved for a month in deep freezer.

Kokum (Garcinia Indica) – 7-8 petals.

Salt to taste

Lemon juice – 1-2 tea spoons

Take 1-2 tea spoons water in small bowl and mix the above ingredients well to form a nice thick paste. Then marinate the fish in this paste for atleast 1/2 to 1 hour before frying.

Coating and frying technique as mentioned above.

green masala pomfret fry

Why Henry Cavill is the Best SuperHero of the 21st Century

Christian Bale as Dark Knight – Perpetually Brooding Hot

Batman

Robert Downey Junior as Iron Man – UberCool Hot

iron man

Michael Fassbender as Magneto – Magnetic Hot

magneto

James McAvoy as Charles Xavier – Charming Hot

prof x

Hugh Jackman as Wolverine – Always Angry Hot

wolverine

But Henry Cavill as Superman – He is all of the above and Scorching HOT

cavillsuperman1

He is simply gorgeous – I rest my case!

 

The Story of a Break-in and How Our Sherlock Solved It

We always read news about crimes – house break-ins , thefts, murders, rape – they are always stories to us because they happen to someone else. Never to us. We often wonder what the victims must have gone through.

My place in Worli was one of the safest I’ve known – the house break-ins in the colony were a handful in the last 37 years since the colony was first built. However, in the last few months I did hear of break-ins in the colony but did not know to what extent the damage was done.

In November 2012 we were away on a Rajasthan trip with my family – on the last day of our trip we got the news that my uncle’s house – (in the same building as mine) was broken in. I could not believe that we were now the victims.

We reached home the next day and were shocked to see my  uncle’s house – the main bedroom was in complete disarray. They lost valuables worth 2 lakhs and that very day we rushed to register the FIR. A basic one had been filed by my other uncles, but they needed the owners of the house to put down a list of all stolen items. It is definitely not an easy process – filing the FIR and giving a statement. From that day for the next 10 days we spent our time  finding contacts in the police so that the case could be expedited. Some told us that we would probably get back nothing as it was difficult to locate these petty thieves while some assured my uncle that they would do their best to find the culprit.

After 3 days when he visited his bank to withdraw money he realised his bank account was emptied – luckily it was not his primary bank account and the amount was around INR 30,000. I enquired with him if the bank had provided the details of the ATM from where the card was accessed. He said his bank’s branch  manager has not even extended him the courtesy to listen to his case. They put their hands up saying they could do nothing as the money was not taken out from their bank’s ATM. I was fuming, I’m a banker and I’m well aware of all operations and networks and how easy it is to get the ATM details. I was appalled at the apathy exhibited by that man – here was a 69 year old senior citizen telling him that a theft had happened in his account and he had refused help. Luckily next day, there was another manager at the branch who was kind enough to help us get the requisite information about the ATM location within 15 minutes. It was a Citibank ATM in Vashi and the withdrawals were done at around 3.30-4.00 in the morning.

Then with the help of a friend who worked in Citi and additional help from the police my uncle managed to retrieve the CCTV footage – we were hopeful that this clear evidence would help the police move swiftly. However it was not to be – the thief went undetected for months. Honestly, my sister and I had given up hope. We told him to forget and move on. We thought we had tried our best. However my uncle was not the one to sit still and he decided he would do his bit. He has always been restless and I know how disturbed he was – one feels so violated. A stranger walks into your home that was built with so much hard work and sweat, money earned through years of toil – and just rummages through your abode stealing your hard earned money. He realized that he may not get his valuables back but he knew he would not be at peace until he knew who the culprit was.

He started keeping track of all break-in stories in different newspapers. He visited police stations in Thane, Chembur and even the Mumbai Crime Branch with all his case papers to check if the modus operandi of those break-ins was similar and if he could find any common clues. I have to admit that a lot of senior officials at different departments and police stations gave him a patient ear and helped him out. Heard his case , kept his papers and assured him that they would let him know if any clue or opening came by.

Finally last week mom messaged me that my uncle had nailed down his thief. He had read about the Pune police nabbing a thief whose description seemed to fit the one who had broken into our home. He contacted the Pune police, sent them the CCTV footages of the ATM and they confirmed it was the same thief.

My uncle taught us all a lesson – when everyone around him was telling him to forget and move on, he refused to do so and went about his parallel investigation. He could have let his hands up and blamed the police and stayed at home brooding over his loss. He did not. It is easy for us to fault the system but how about trying a little bit more to help the system? My uncle did. Yesterday Mid-day covered his story and I was very very impressed with the reporter who did this story (Do read the story here.) It was to the point, no wrong details and no exaggerated melodrama in the coverage.  All the police officials whom he had met called him personally to congratulate on his efforts and how he was a role model for many citizens.

My uncle the Sherlock – I cannot tell you how proud I’m today! At 69 you have set a fine example to us youngsters who give up on the system. You have taught us that if we want we can help ourselves, help the police; it is all about taking the initiative and going that extra mile. 

I take this opportunity to thank all my  friends (online and offline) and my family who shared his story yesterday – it is indeed an inspiring story . We search for heroes all around us forgetting the ones who live with us day in and out.

Didi was right – Papa (That’s what I’ve always called him as a kid , Didi’s Papa also my Papa :-)) You are our Superhero and today I wish you a very Happy Father’s Day – Fathers like you remind us of what we must aim to be – A Fighter for Life – at any point , against anything and never ever give up ! Kudos to you!

Review : Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani

(Warning: Spoilers ahead)

Yesterday  I wrote the music review of the film and mentioned that I hope Ranbir does not disappoint – Ranbir did not disappoint but Ayan Mukherjee did while Karan Johar lived upto expectations.

The movie is too long – seriously Bollywood you need not drag a script for 2.5 hours – there is no such mandate and what can be told eloquently in 1.5 hours should be told in 1.5 hours. Too many irrelevant scenes – painting people as stupid does not generate laughs. Having too many forced songs does not help either however good they might be.

Ayan dealt with the relationship of Sid and Aisha beautifully in Wake up Sid his first movie but I did not find any such build-up to Bunny and Naina’s love story in the movie – Ranbir and Deepika’s sizzling onscreen chemistry made up for the complete lack of script.

The story is all too known by now – how 4 friends go on a trip , have fun, enjoy, let go and discover themselves. Move apart , live their lives – some grow up , some don’t. Some move on while some get stuck in a time warp. All too familiar, all too seen and heard before – Dil Chahta Hain, Rock On, Zindagi Na Mile Dobara, bring in the DDLJ romance, bring in the tomboy turned lady a-la Kajol from Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, bring in the irritating Poo like character from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham , the affluent families, the lavish weddings, trekking in mini shorts and denim skirts (only in a KJO movie)

I had thought Ayan Mukherjee would continue to be in his Wake Up Sid zone.  He did in fact for quite sometime in the movie – when he made Naina’s character extremely real and believable – I’m not a Deepika fan but she was good in the movie. Full credit to Ayan for being able to get this girl to actually act. Her expressions were controlled, did not seem forced, she seemed comfortable with the character. Balanced, rational , today’s girl who understood her priorities. Her Naina was believable – geeky, boring, falling for the guy who was not her type.  She had the courage to realise the relationship would not work as they wanted different things and she had the sanity to not lose her mind over him, value his friendship and treasure those moments. That was as real as it can get. I could completely identify with her character. And even when life offered her the second chance she was practical and sane enough to not leave her medical career and go along with her vagabond love.

Kalki as the tomboy turned lady did justice to her part but not to the dancing (No seriously Kalki please don’t dance – my eyes hurt). She was the only reason that the 4 friends came back together. Thank god they did not twist her character by getting her back with her old crush and not going ahead with the wedding. Adtiya Kapoor as Avi was an utter disappointment – he was the worst of the 4 friends who never got his life together. Aditya failed to depict Avi’s bitterness or the hurt he felt – of losing his friends or not getting his life in order like the other 3 did.

Ranbir as Bunny was superlative – I’d go for a movie just to see Ranbir on screen. He brought alive Bunny’s character – he wanted to be free, he wanted to see the world, he wanted to follow his dreams and he did. He had a few regrets but he wasn’t to blame for it. He was brilliant in that last scene with his father Farooq Sheikh before he leaves for America and then later with his step-mother Tanvi Azmi after he comes home – 3 years after his father passed away. Those two scenes were the highlight of the movie for me. Bunny’s mom gets Bunny rid of all of his guilt of not being there for his dad when he should have been. The one scene with Farooq Sheikh when Ranbir is leaving for the USA for future studies was the best scene of the movie – those 4 lines from Farooq sum up the definition of perfect parents that every child craves for.

And then I thought it would be a nice end to the movie – Bunny sets off to get his dream job finally free of all his guilt & regrets, Naina moves on and maybe finds love again – because the fact is that in real life you do. More often than not you do. Sometimes some relations are not meant to be. We don’t always have picture perfect endings and I would have really liked to see Ayan keep it real like Shakun Batra did in Ekk Main Aur Ekk Tu, but he didn’t. So the movie ended like it would in the KJO world.

The reason I felt a bit disappointed with the ending – was it felt lame and out of the blue as the movie did not focus on Naina-Bunny relationship as much at it should have – it felt a tad disconnected  and rushed at the end. And given how the whole relationship played out – I found it difficult to digest that a guy so crazy about his dream, who was lucky enough to have folks supportive of him,  just gave it all up one day. Maybe people do – but in the movie it felt completely out of character for Bunny.

If Bunny had chased his dream job would you have termed him to be a villain? Naina understood him, I wonder why the director did not and made him do a complete U-turn. Think about it!

Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani

Have I told you all that I’m a Ranbir fan – He is a fabulous actor and a great dancer. The latter bit quite under-rated in my opinion. Watch Badtameez Dil and you will know what I’m talking about. When I first caught the song on TV I was not surprised that Ranbir had rendered a fabulous performance – and done great justice to Benny Dayal’s singing (who by the way I completely mistook for Mohit Chauhan when I first heard the first few lines of the song) and Pritam’s foot tapping music. My dance classes begin in 2 weeks time and I can’t wait to dance to this song!

 

It was Badtameez Dil and not Balam Pichkari that caught my attention and I went hunting to check out how the rest of the album was. Needless to say I was not disappointed. Never been a Pritam fan – knowing how well he lifts his numbers but he has managed to deliver three hit albums in a row now.

Shalmali Kolge of the Pareshaan fame is fantastic in Balam Pichkari – it’s a nice foot tapping number and will get its place in all time hit Holi songs. Be assured we are going to bombarded with it once Holi arrives next year. Vishal Dadlani rarely fails to deliver in foot-tapping numbers and this must count among his best ones.

Ranbir movie and no Mohit Chauhan? How is that even possible? Mukesh was Raj Kapoor’s voice and since Rockstar I have felt that Mohit Chauhan’s voice suits Ranbir the best! Amitabh Bhattacharya is fast climbing the charts as the number one lyricist – the lyrics of Illahi portray Ranbir’s character (from what I’ve read in the previews of the story) to perfection.

Khaanaabadoshiyon pe hi jaane kyoon
Ilahi meraa jee aaye aaye

I don’t know why in nomadic ways only I find my heart interested, O Lord.

Sreeram’s voice is quite soulful in SubhanAllah – but the song isn’t one that will leave a lasting impact. Nice to listen to but not the one that will keep playing a loop on your ipod a million times. That will go to only one song from the album – will come to it at the end of this post.

Dilliwali Girlfriend will probably play at most marriage sangeet parties this year and will be forgotten the moment a new chart-topping number hits the scene. Sounds like every other punjabi song that hits the pop scene. Not impressive at all.

You get Madhuri to do an item number and Rekha Bhardwaj to render it – the perfect ingredients to deliver a hit that could go and stake a claim with Kajre Re or Beedi on popularity charts and all that we get is a dampener in Ghagra. Did not click at all. I also thought that the whole Via-Agra bit was completely intentional in the song – fool to think otherwise right?

Rekha Bhardwaj is definitely one of my favourite singers – Namak, Ab Mujhe Koi and the very recent- the phenomenal “Phir Le Aaya Dil” – it would have been quite a disappointment if she had not got a better number than Ghagra in the album – and here is where you thank god for the endearing sufi number “Kabira” by her and Tochi Raina. This is the kind of song that will play a million times in a loop on your iPod. There is another version by Harshdeep and Arijit but that sounds very run-of-the-mill wedding song unlike this one which is meant to be played when you are out at night on a long drive!

Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani overall does not disappoint – I’m pretty confident it will earn nominations next year at all the award ceremonies. Off to see the movie tomorrow – not too high expectations just hoping Ranbir does not disappoint.

P.s: Listen to the first 14 seconds of Kabira and then to the first 15 seconds of the Title Track of Kuch Toh Log Kahenge (never watched the serial – love this number though) and tell me if you notice any similarities 🙂

 

Update:
I have edited out the sentence where I mentioned that Pritam was running into good form of his Jab We Met & Metro days – I was genuinely unaware that Pritam had lifted most songs in these two albums – until a friend @adityeah pointed out on twitter. I really liked those two albums – and my apologies for my ignorance about this bit. Have corrected the sentence as it seemed contradictory.

Dilemma…

Catching up with school friends and college friends always brings backs tons of memories – the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing – and so many times after endless conversations I often go back thinking I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had not said all the things I said back then, I wish I had not held myself back, I wish I had let go, I wish I had expressed my feelings more often, I wish I had been more honest and forthcoming. I wish I had more clarity in my thought and my actions. I wish I wasn’t as confused as I was then. It amazes me that my friendships have lasted a lifetime – I must have done something right.

Over the years I have grown tremendously as a person – my thought process, my approach and attitude to life. I’ve learnt to balance my emotions and I know I have matured with my experiences – the good and the bad. I have become eerily rational and a lot more open minded. I have learnt (albeit after falling flat on my face tons of time) to not get affected by the way people change or behave. I take pride in the way I handle my emotions especially when it comes to tough situations – I have rarely panicked. I know I have changed as a person – I’m still my old cheerful self but I’m not the person I was when I was in school or college. Even in appearance – I’m not the geeky, tomboy, skinny lass I was – I pay a lot more heed to how I look and what I wear. I feel great when I look at myself today and it gives me the added confidence. It feels wonderful when friends and colleagues at work compliment me on my dressing style, eye-makeup and accessories. My mom has always had an amazing sense of style, she has a wonderful eye for everything – be it her lovely collection of saris (which everyone in my family will die for to own), her accessories, her household items – she is the epitome of simplicity and elegance. Until I got married and even few years after that I was a complete antithesis to my mom in this department but today I realize I’ve had that gene of hers hidden in me which is now taking shape. I never thought I would develop an eye for home decor but I did (mom’s hidden gene sprung up once I had to do up the home from scratch). Today I can proudly say that I have done up my little abode beautifully and visitors to my home do tell me so.

So when my friends and family whom I meet after ages tell me I haven’t changed at all – I’m at a loss to react – I don’t know what to make of it. In one way I’m happy because they are telling me that they took to me for the person I was then and am still the same; but then I also feel a little disheartened because I’m happy I have changed and that the folks who would actually notice the difference simply don’t. I have changed for the better and  I sometimes wish they would notice it and tell me so.

Anyone of you ever been through a similar dilemma?

Page 3 of 42

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén