Category: Life’s Little Learnings Page 2 of 6

Little joys…

The tomboy hated applying powder or cream, loved T-shirts &Jeans and sneakers, and the family thought it was a pity that she was a complete contrast to her picture-perfect pretty mumma.

Today, when colleagues at work and friends rave about her eye-make up (which is simply applying the eye-pencil in different colours to go with the dresses), even demanding she take a crash course for them having perfected the art; and praise her dressing style (comprising mainly of dresses & skirts) – the hidden tomboy in her wants to call out to her mumma and tell her that her daughter has finally mastered the style that mumma had secretly prayed for!

Aahatein…

I’ve been listening to this song in a loop every night as I go to bed. Put on a repeat mode – no other song plays on the iPod. Every single time I listen to it , I fall in love with it. It may have a melancholic  feel but it is still endearing.

It makes me miss the folks I’ve loved and lost even more, it makes me miss my best friends whom I don’t get to meet in ages (Thanks to us living in different subcontinents and time zones), it makes me miss mumma cause she is in Mumbai and I’m in Dubai and she isn’t around to share my daily happenings in person and the phone is hardly a substitute, it makes me miss my family – my fun , crazy, one big family – uncles, aunts, in-laws, nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers – folks who sometimes drive me mad and I want to run away from, and it makes me miss my little brats all the more.

 

This song and its rendition and the lyrics get me all teary-eyed and emotional (things I’m not known for and often hate to admit to this side of mine) especially these two lines

Sab kuch wahi hai, par kuch kami hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai, nahin hai hai

(Everything is the same, but something is missing

Your presence isn’t there)

Shilpa Rao is haunting ( Like she was in Ek Lau and Nain Parindey) and Karthik’s voice makes my heart melt but the real genius is Amit Trivedi (Refer Ek Lau, Iktara, Dilli , Shaam, and this new movie Trishna)

Mom

mom

I came across this on FB – I had to share it on the blog cause I believe this is very much possible in real life. I’m not a mom yet but if I were to become one someday – this is a possibility with me; and all you righteous moms who are judging me now cause I’m agreeing to this – you know you are lying cause you know this is a possibility with you too 🙂

Does Only Winning Matter?

At my last toastmaster’s meeting I was the toastmaster of the day and I chose the meeting theme as “Sports”. As an introduction to the theme I chose 4 stories from the sports world that had inspired me – having read about some, watched them later and seen some live. As a child I was a terrible athlete but still grew to love sports. I love watching as many as I can and more than that I guess I love digging up the archives and reading inspiring tales from the sporting world – this activity is my biggest dose of anti-depressants.

I shared the stories behind Herb Brooks and his team of amateurs that won the Miracle on Ice, Goran’s love story with Wimbledon, Derek Redmond’s determination to finish the Olympics race and Nadia Comaneci’s perfect ten which was until then perceived as Impossible. Pivotal, poignant stories all – with one message that I have always believed  – The will matters, not the result. How you compete hails you as a sportsman, not the winning medals in your showcase.

At the end of each session we have a general evaluation – where the evaluator gives critical feedback on the whole meeting and all the role players; but this particular evaluator chose to rubbish the message by citing that winning is the only thing that matters and no one remembers a loser – that no one cares or bothers about what you bring to the match if you lose it. I was taken aback a bit by his statements since he had written to me ( I had sought a few thoughts with respect to the theme from each role players to introduce them) that the attitude of winning at all cost did not appeal to him. To me it seemed that he had just managed to contradict himself within few minutes.

I personally felt he gave the worst possible message to an audience at toastmasters who join it to hone their public speaking skills – where participation and overcoming fear of stage matters more than winning or losing the speech contest.

I hope this gentleman saw this Sunday’s epic Aus Open final. The next time we meet I want to ask him if he still believes that winning is all that matters and no one remembers the loser; because of all the articles I’ve read so far on the final (one of the finest here at GrantLand), folks have not stopped praising Nadal’s grit and fight and Nadal was Not The Winner.

Expert

If as an artist – be it in films, theatre or music, as a  sports player, as an author, as a painter, as a businessman, as a head of a company – you begin to think that the customer, consumer, audience, spectator cannot have an “expert” opinion on your respective field just cause he is not a part of that “field” – It shows your arrogance, not my ignorance

Bombay

I miss the “Bombay” of my childhood and so does mom miss the “Bombay” of her childhood.

But she has a song that describes her Bombay to perfection and I’m still searching for one that describes mine; and I know that even if I find my song of my Bombay, hers will still rule the roost.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7EjxI27aMc&feature=related[/youtube]

The Year End Recap

Life always balances out! Always – This was to be a fantastic year but it ended on a somber note.

Mumma lost her aunts in quick succession – I don’t know how it is with you folks but on my side I’ve always been closer to my maternal aunts just like mumma has been to hers. The advantage of growing up with a close knit family is that bonds and ties with the family members are not forced or obligatory – they come naturally. My maternal aunts are one of the reasons my childhood has so many lovely memories, and it was similar for my mom. With her aunts passing away – she feels a bit lost, a bit more old and  finds her childhood memories fading away. And all I can do for her is be with her and give her a hug without saying a word.

My sis’s father-in-law passed away the next day we landed in Mumbai; the only solace being he was able to see his little grand daughter. He was a wonderful human being, kind and loving. His death was a shock that we all are still recovering from – my little niece had no clue and for a week until the rituals were sorted out – it was just me and her keeping each other company.

I realized what a good child the little one is and how blessed my Sis and Jiju are. She had not seen her parents in 2-3 days and not a wimp from the girl. I’ve not seen any 1.5 year old as well behaved as she was and I don’t say this because she is my niece. I’m not great with kids, I’ve never been – I doubt I will be; but my family thought I took care of  my munchkin extremely well during those days – and that was a huge pat on the back for me. Playing pseudo mum isn’t easy – I’d always rather be the aunt.

Apart for this last month, I find no fault with 2011 – it was a wonderful year for me – personally and professionally. Especially the latter – it has been so satisfying – a great team  to work with, excellent professional colleagues, challenging environment, variety at every stage and zero boredom; and the year end brought all the appreciation and plaudit for the hard work I put in. To swim in unknown waters and come out knowing the ocean like the back of your hand – I could not have asked for a better year.

I managed to meet up with most of my school friends this year – folks I had not seen in 3-4 years! The BFF visited me in Jan with her parents and we had a blast like only we madcaps can. I met up with 4 more during the year, catching up with their families and their adorable brats – UK, Ireland and India. No one can beat the charm of school friends – they know the real you, you can’t hide behind a mask and you need not put your best foot forward. There was also the realization of how different our lives have gone on to be – today we may not have many things common but that friendship forged 20 years ago still remains unchanged, untarnished and that remains one of our biggest gains.

My munchkin is growing up fast – I remember holding the tiny little girl on her first day in this world and now this 1.5 year old is running around, hugging me tight, recognizing me, uttering her first full sentence “ Wow what a guy”(She is learning well), putting clothes in the washing machine, replying to all of us authoritatively in monosyllables – “Ya, No”, speaking with the Brit accent and making me play “Dhinka Chika” all the time so that she can dance her heart out ( I’m not going to forgive her for this last bit – she gets away only cause she is 1.5) – we got to meet twice this year and I can’t wait to see her next!

I get to see my first daughter once or twice a year since they shifted base  to Mumbai – and this year the gal has won a million hearts and prizes with her theatre and dance performances. She seems so grown up now – and it sucks to be so far away. Her parents, my dear friends are the best parents I’ve seen; if any one needs a crash course in parenting please do meet them.

My girl gang in Dubai and our families finally took a long awaited trip together. We had a blast – all the arguments, banter, laughter, gossip – I don’t know what I would do without this support system in Dubai. A trip that was all set to go downhill turned out to be among the best vacations I’ve had cause of the gang. So here is hoping for more in the future.

There were also the small matters of me joining Toastmasters and managing to win my first award in the Club, being interviewed by Suno 102.4 on Women’s Day for my cricket passion and also getting the opportunity at Indicast to do an entire podcast series during the World Cup with Ayaz Memon thanks to @abhishekumar and @acmhatre

I’ve moved my cricketing life away from this space but the year-end recap cannot be completed without mentioning my first love.

Towards the end of the year I got to be part of this wonderful initiative we started for the fans of the game. It is still a toddler, but we rest a lot of hopes on it. Visit The SightScreen – you will get some fascinating reads and interesting insights from the fans of the game – unadulterated and pure.

And finally, two huge dreams came true this year. Remember my bucket list? Remember item 8.a. Yes I went to Lords – the 2000th test match – thanks to my sis and jiju for getting the tickets for me. Day1, 4 and 5 witnessed live in the Mecca of cricket. I’ve visited the stadium before and done the tour – but to see a match live is another experience altogether.

But the most cherished moment of the year and probably of my life came in April, in my city Mumbai, at my favorite place Wankhede. I doubt any other moment will come close to this one. I got to see the World Cup Final in Wankhede, Mumbai. I got to see India win – Dhoni hit that amazing six and then “twirl” the bat. The experience was out of this world, and I attempted  to make it sound coherent here. Whenever I felt a bit low this year – I went to youtube and watched that shot, then the celebrations that followed and then the video clips that hubby managed to take on his NokiaE71. Those moments tell me what the win meant to Sachin, to the team, to the country and to me and to you. If you did not celebrate that night – you missed out on one of the happiest moments in your life.

 2011 was a good year for me – it was unexpected and surprisingly good compared to most years in my life. I’ve been happy, content and less grudging towards life this year – I made a promise to myself at the start of the year to be positive and I have tried, and it has worked.

 This year I make another promise – to be happy, to smile more no matter what and to believe in myself. Two adverts this year inspired my New Year resolution and I hope they inspire you all as well.

The first by A R Rahman – the Hero motocorp Ad “Hum Main Hain Hero” – the one that tells you to look for the “Hero” within you – and believe in yourself.

 [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URQ8Tfk6iqU[/youtube]

The second one I came across on New Year’s Eve. The lines are innocent and pure just like the kids singing them.

Life is so short – we need to rejoice, smile, celebrate, focus on the good, be positive and be happy – so keep the negativity, the bad, the sadness, the hurt, the sorrow, and the fights away.

The video and lyrics below (I’ve tried my best to translate them for the folks who do not understand hindi)

 [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2qzF1DRIK4[/youtube]

Ummeed waali dhoop, (The sunshine of hope)

Sunshine waali aasha (The hope of sunshine)

 Rone ki wajah hai kam (There are few reasons to cry)

Hasne ke bahane jyada (There are million reasons to be happy)

Zidd hai muskuraayenge (We are determined to smile)

Khush rehne ka hai waada (We promise to be happy)

 Umeed wali dhoop, Sunshine waali asha

 Tum dil se agar puchhoge (If you ask your heart)

Woh khush rehna hi chahe (It wants to be happy)

Jab sache mann se mango (If you ask with a pure heart)

Toh khul jaati hai raahein (You’ll find all the answers )

Toh khul ke khusi lutaao (So go and spread the joy to the fullest)

Ye kya aadha-aadha (Why this half-heartedness)

 Umeed wali dhoop, Sunshine Wali asha

Umeed wali dhoop, Sunshine Wali asha

Happy New Year Folks – Hope is a powerful weapon, make a promise to Celebrate Life – It happens to us only once!

Toastmasters Project-2 “Public Transport and Me”

Remember I mentioned to you all that I’ve joined Toastmasters and put up my first speech 2 months back on this space.

We are to complete 10 project speeches in the year and I moved to complete my Project-2 yesterday.  The topic I chose was the one which has been very dear to me having lived in Mumbai 26 years of my life. It also won me my first award at Toastmasters. Yes, yours truly won the “Best Speaker” award for this speech yesterday.

“Public Transport and Me”

 

Staggering statistics aren’t they? Don’t worry I’m not here to conduct a statistics class. Dear esteemed guests and my fellow toastmasters, I’m here to share my admiration for the public transport in a city and why I prefer to use it.

The first 2 numbers represent the two lifelines of Mumbai – its Local Train System and BEST Bus system. Growing up in the busy, crowded, crazy Mumbai city, I have spent an approximate 21,600 hours i.e. almost 1.5 years of my entire life traveling in them. Are there any folks here from London? I’m sure you are tempted to make similar calculations in your head because the 3rd line of numbers represents the London Tube – “Mind the Gap”, one of the main reasons I love London as city.  However, I can also sense folks who have rarely used a public transport thinking “What a waste of time” – spending 1.5 years of your life traveling?

 And that is exactly my point – it was never a waste of time.

 I grew up in South Mumbai where buses governed my travel to school and college. All the institutions I attended were unfortunately very strict about punctuality, my parents were also very strict with me – as a student there was no way my parents were going to let me spend 10 times the amount on a cab just cause I could grab 15 minutes of extra sleep in the morning. So I had to catch my bus on time.

I got married and moved to Suburban Mumbai; my first office was at the other end of the town – 35 Kms of travel one way via train and bus. In my 1.5 years there, I never got late to work, catching my morning 7.41 train and then the connecting 9.05 bus – That’s how efficient the transport was or still is, despite the traffic woes in the city.

 Buses & Trains taught me discipline and value of time.

Now I was spending 2-3 hours traveling daily – so I figured out ways to utilize those hours.

Reading: I read a lot! Most  of the books on my bookshelf have been completed during my bus and train travel.  I would complete 2-3 novels a week. Newspapers were bought at the bus-stop /train station every morning by me and my fellow travelers. We would read them on our way to college/office – in our small way we helped the newspaper industry earn some additional revenue.

Radio & Music: My favourite companions: I would plug in my earphones and listen to the constant chitter-chatter of my favorite radio-jockeys and latest city happenings.  I’ve come to believe that all the radio channels in the world owe their popularity to the billion public transport users. If I got bored of the radio – I would switch to my mp3 player. When else do we take out 1 hour to listen to our favorite songs?

Information Gathering: Now, if you are traveling on the London Tube or any of Europe’s main city local transport – you’ll see most people with books or with their ipods, but my city Mumbai has to be different. If you seek information don’t bother searching on google/wikipedia, the ladies train compartment in the Mumbai local train is the best source of information on parenting, kids psychology, tackling in-laws, latest film gossip, politics, recipes, knitting, shopping, work, college life, fashion trends – name it and you’ll overhear it. I never eavesdropped but Mumbai trains are so crowded that even if you want to avoid listening, the conversations still fall upon your ears and you walk out a much knowledgeable person.

The Friendships I made: Only in Mumbai do you have this concept of “bus friends” and “train friends”.  We are tied to the clock and everyone ends up taking their specific trains every single day. I made many such special friends. They lent me a shoulder when I was upset, and they jumped with excitement on any good news I shared. In those 1 hour conversations we shared our lives with each other.

 Drama on the Roads: I have seen a family of 5 trying to fit onto the 2-wheeler ride, the bickering bullying bus and cab drivers, the guy proposing to his girlfriend in the 3-wheeler auto-rickshaw, the wife and husband fighting in the car, their kids making monkey faces at the other travelers and enjoying the chaos. I have watched so much drama on the roads that I rarely missed watching television.

Going Green: Without realizing I helped the world “Go Green” in a small way – by reducing pollution and traffic by not taking my vehicle. I do my little bit to reduce the carbon footprint. Did you know how much you can contribute by not taking your car out even if it is for one day? Here are some “green” stats. Also imagine the tensions you set yourself free from by not driving in traffic.

Dubai and Me: And finally, I came to Dubai in 2006 and needless to say we did not hit it off well owing to her lack of a good public transport system. The Metro construction had just begun; I thought I was the only one eagerly waiting for the Metro but I was proved wrong – that last statistic I mentioned in the first slide is about the Dubai Metro. I hope it will soon become a lifeline of this place – just like London, New York, Shanghai, Mumbai, Singapore have their lifelines.

I take the Metro everyday from work to home. I like the 7 mins walk from here to the station – I get to see the Burj lit up beautifully in the evening and even though the ride home is just 2 stations away; the 15 minutes spent with myself listening to my favourite music makes up for a tiring day spent at work

Yeah, I’m a public transport girl – I may own a car but I’ll leave her behind any day. I’m still a Mumbaite at heart when it comes to trains and buses.

I’m leaving you all with some words about public transport to take home today – next time when we meet let me know if you’d consider becoming a public transport person too?

Random Madness…

I’m so swamped at work these days I don’t get the time to think, read, or pursue my hobbies. I realise internet nope social networking is eating into my time – I need to cut down on it. FB time has already gone down and so will Twitter.

My reader items are pending, my daily business journal mails are unread, my books are lying on my shelf, I just skim through my newspaper and never get down to completely reading my bookmarked business articles. I’m kind of beginning to hate this current  me.

But there is something interesting cooking up as well – and I hope I can give it the time I want to. It also means I may do away with my cricket blog – there is no way I can manage 2 blogs and work on a website given the little time I find myself with when I get home.

I miss television – I don’t remember the last time I followed any series on TV religiously – these days I just download the episodes or catch the series much later on DVD. The schedules are getting that crazy.

I was the one who was always in touch with everyone – all my friends and family. Now it is exhausting and overwhelming for me. I’ve cut down on those expectations cause I cannot work on a one-way street.

I’m not a mother yet and there is only so much I can contribute to parenting conversations. I’m thrilled for my friends and cousins who are in a new phase – and their kids are awesome but beyond that I really don’t know what to say.

I’m also seriously, seriously tired of people asking MDH and me when we will have a kid – if it has to happen it will, if not – well not much I can say at this point of time cause somehow my views on not having a kid early and wanting to wait don’t seem to make any sense.

In between all this I’m neglecting my health – I need to get fit – no not thin but fit. Weight-wise I’m perfect – I never thought the skinny me in college would ever get to what I’m today. I love the way I look, I love how I fit into the best clothes and no longer have to hunt for XS sizes. But I’m not fit.  I no longer have the stamina of the teenage me – I realise this every time I’m tired after dancing on 4-5 songs continuously. I’ve hit the dance floor in the past for 5-6 straight hours without bothering to eat or drink.

I wonder why I’m getting so miserable at my personal time management when I’m so bloody good at it at my workplace.

I know I’m just lacking the discipline to do all the stuff I want to and I need to do something about it TODAY!

P.S: In all this random madness my munchkin – my little 1.5 year old niece Ira is keeping me sane – her increasing crazy antics everyday and stories from my Didi have me in splits all the time. My sis is the coolest mom in the world – most new mums need to take a lesson from her on being a mother.

Success

Every toastmaster’s meeting we attend has a theme and the WordMaster has to give a word that is in sync with the theme. The speakers, and all the members then have to use this theme and word at some point during the speeches, round table sessions. During the entire meeting while the wordmaster keeps count of the number of times the word was used.

After my first icebreaker speech , I was the wordmaster for the second speech. Before you introduce the word you need to lead the audience to the word. Here is my little 1-2 minutes effort. The theme of the day was “Milestone” and the word  I chose was “Success”

———

Milestone to me equals achievement ;  a sense of fulfilment  when we set goals and accomplish them. What do you term this sense of fulfilment?

To me it defines “Success”.

Success is relative.

It is proving that you are better than the rest but more importantly it is proving that you are better than your best.

I share with you what a few “ successful” folks thought about success:

Ann Landers was the pen name created by Chicago Sun-Tribune advice columnist Ruth Crowley in 1943. The syndicated advice column “ Ask Ann Landers” featured in many newspapers in North America and ran for 56 years. Here is what she had to say:

The Lord has given us two ends – one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most

Erma Bombeck an American humorist said;

Don’t confuse fame with success – Madonna is one, Helen Keller is the other.

John McEnroe – known for his tantrums and hot-head and frankess probably gave the best perspective about success which holds so true;

Everyone loves success, but they hate successful people

So don’t frown if someone hates you, he/she is probably jealous and deems you to be more successful then himself/herself.

And finally, I hope you all have at some point in your life seen  the awesome show “Kids Say the Darnest Things”. If you haven’t I suggest you go to youtube and watch it. Bill Cosby – the famous American comedian , actor was the show’s anchor. His rapport with the kids was the perfect recipe for the show’s success. Here is what the wonderful man said:

I don’t know the key to success, but I do know that the key to failure is trying to please everybody

Stop pleasing everybody, do what your heart and mind tell you is right, pursue your goals and success will follow.

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