Month: March 2012


I’ve been listening to this song in a loop every night as I go to bed. Put on a repeat mode – no other song plays on the iPod. Every single time I listen to it , I fall in love with it. It may have a melancholic  feel but it is still endearing.

It makes me miss the folks I’ve loved and lost even more, it makes me miss my best friends whom I don’t get to meet in ages (Thanks to us living in different subcontinents and time zones), it makes me miss mumma cause she is in Mumbai and I’m in Dubai and she isn’t around to share my daily happenings in person and the phone is hardly a substitute, it makes me miss my family – my fun , crazy, one big family – uncles, aunts, in-laws, nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers – folks who sometimes drive me mad and I want to run away from, and it makes me miss my little brats all the more.


This song and its rendition and the lyrics get me all teary-eyed and emotional (things I’m not known for and often hate to admit to this side of mine) especially these two lines

Sab kuch wahi hai, par kuch kami hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai, nahin hai hai

(Everything is the same, but something is missing

Your presence isn’t there)

Shilpa Rao is haunting ( Like she was in Ek Lau and Nain Parindey) and Karthik’s voice makes my heart melt but the real genius is Amit Trivedi (Refer Ek Lau, Iktara, Dilli , Shaam, and this new movie Trishna)

You are missed

15 years today.

I took the journey from a lost teenager to a woman – without you.

I never got to see how you would have reacted to my first crush, my heartbreaks, my first love, my boyfriend, my husband, my anger, my dissent, my low confidence, my confusion, my fight, my living away, my struggle, my determination, my success.

I have often sat in the corner of my room  and imagined your reactions – your anger, your happiness, your love, your long lectures, your pep talks, your belief in me, your sky high confidence in me.

Confidence – the one that you always had in me, the one that you gave me, that crazy faith, that unabashed defiance you taught me – that I confess I lost this day 15 years ago. I manage to salvage some of it time and again, but for the last 15 years I’ve searched for the old one and it is lost for good – it went with you.

Don’t get me wrong – mumma has been wonderful but she has missed you too in this topsy-turvy journey of mine.

Papa, you have been missed – every single day, every single hour, every single minute in the last 15 years. The memories have not faded, they have only got stronger – for they are all that I’m left with and I can never let go of them.

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