Why I shouldn’t have watched Cocktail!

This is my space to rant. So if you liked the Cocktail (Hindi) Movie don’t bother reading this post.

I’m to blame, I never learn. I let my friends do this to me – take me out for a movie I know is not going to be my money’s worth in the pretext that maybe I’ll find it timepass/enjoyable with them around. Twice now it has not worked – first Bodyguard  & now Cocktail.

Why should I even be excited about a Saif-Deepika film with an addition of Diana Penty? I did not like Love Aaj Kal – Deepika cannot act, talks in the same tone – be it a happy scene or an emotional scene and I fail to understand folks who call her an “actress” – she is drop dead gorgeous and it ends at that. Diana Penty – don’t tell me you don’t see the similarities she shares with Deepika, they’ll pass off in a twin sisters role any day. Saif – there are days that I like his movies, there are also days when his same old KHNH act gets repeated oh- so-often that it does not seem “cool” anymore.

You all know the story by now, you all have raved about how fabulous Deepika and Penty looked – yeah yeah I get it. What I don’t get is if I have to go and watch two ladies look good ( I’d rather watch a Fashion Show – which by the way has to be one of the most boring events ever conceptualized on this earth); why on earth would I watch them in a movie where they don’t know the basic thing that makes up a movie – good acting.

The movie did not have a storyline, crappy dialogues and characters that made no sense. The only believable character to me was that of Deepika, whom they completely ruined by transforming her into a sati-savitri, the girl-type that any Indian boy will love to take home to his parents. I would’ve given it to the director, if he had let Saif & Deepika be themselves and continue the “no strings attached” live-in relationship by not succumbing to parental pressure or the “true love” nonsense. That transformation from the hip-cool-modern to the eventual HAHK type was totally out of character. We don’t keep it real because we want to cater it to an audience across age-groups. I therefore give it to Shakun Batra of Ekk Main or Ekk Tu fame – he did not have Kareena fall in love with Imran, there was no conclusion to the story – because that’s how it is in real life. Love is not always reciprocated but yet people mature and remain friends.

I did not get Meera’s character at all – apparently a simple, middle class Punjabi girl, duped by the husband, lives with a stranger in an unknown land, does not like the idea of the best friend and guy having a fling and sleeping with each other, and then falls for the same characterless guy, and if that’s not enough seeks help from the husband who duped her to get away from the guy she is madly in love with! Which sane woman with a reasonable stable mind will do this? There wasn’t a single scene that showed the transformation of Meera’s hate towards Gautam to falling in love with him. A few crappy dialogues such as, ‘Every guy must be wondering what lies beneath all the clothes you wear, your pretty waist and smile were enough to woo her over?’ Or wait, was it the motherly affection showered by Gautam’s mom in giving the traditional bangle to her to-be- daughter-in-law that changed her mind. Marry the mom not the guy then!

As for Gautam let me not even get there – he hits on the client with that stupid line about love at first sight, and she succumbs to his lousy charm? No sensible woman (and she must be one since she was the boss in a firm) will do that – hand over a project cause the guy charmed her. Get real!

I enjoyed the movie only when Boman Irani and Dimple Kapadia were on screen. Those 10 minutes were a huge relief but not enough to save the disaster I was watching. The songs were good especially loved Daru Desi and Tumhi ho Bandhu – on a loop for quite some time on the iPod, but good songs don’t make a good film – take Delhi 6  for instance.

It took me sometime to believe that the guy who gave us “Being Cyrus” dealt such a low blow in the form of Cocktail. The movie was neither here nor there, driving home the same age old Bollywood crap about how sticking to tradition is the good thing, and how the party-crazy, alcohol drinking, one-night stand gal must reform if she needs a guy and marriage and all that is termed as the “good life”.

Blah – heard that before, seen it way too many times – give me a different Cocktail please – this combination has been done to death with!


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  1. Himali


    Saw the movie tad late. Glad i did it online (blah the piracy outcry. some content is just not worth it!) and saved 10 bucks!
    I watched it with a perennial smirk on my face that refused to budge even after the movie was over. Reason? how despite of the fact that Indians act more like Westerners than westerners themselves, the quintessential Indian boy always always categorizes a girl based on what kind of ‘material’ she is. Girlfriend OR Wife. They are mutually exclusive!
    So it does not matter what philandering, bed hopping, heart on the sleeves kinda idiot he is, to be his wedded wife, a woman must know how to pado per to his parents, make garma garam fulkas and must be docile. wherein any girl that just as parades her heart on the sleeves or hops in the same bed as him is banished to be of the girlfriend kind – that unfortunate breed that certainly would not get the approval of his parents and hence he cant marry and live happily ever after with!
    tsk tsk!
    For once, i wanted Gautam to peel layers of Varonica’s personality to try and see what her partying really signified. That she wasnt really the non caring types but had her own ways of doing so. For once i wanted the hero to choose the bad girl over the good one!
    May be my children some day would watch a movie like that. May be!

    • Himali,
      Bang on – you know I even thought with 2 people so against the idea of marriage – the live-in arrangement was perfect. Why appease the parents? If you are so modern why not convince them that you don’t believe in marriage and want to live-in for the rest of your lives.
      Live-in is wrong and marraige is right? Who says so? Who decides these rules?
      Ha – Indian cinema – trying to ape the west but won’t get over it’s own stupid traditional “bahu-saas” nonsense!

      • Himali


        Its after all the money game. They do want to show our cast ‘forward’ for the so called ‘classes’ but their main focus in terms of revenue are the ‘masses’ that do believe marriage to be white and live in relationship, black! So they show Gautam and Veronica’s Live In relationship to satisfy the ‘classes’ who feel its right and then Gautam and Meera’s more conventional love story that finally ends in a Happily Ever After for the ‘masses’. Both happy translates into more money!

        I am not promoting Live-In relationships either, to each his own, but why couldnt this dumb fellow marry the wild types?! Marriage does not mean taming of the shrew you know 😉 I would have loved to see a subtle shift in Veronica’s sensibilities while keeping her independent streak alive after the wedding instead of her trying to bang her head against the wall to ‘fit in’ to be the best bride for her lover’s parents.. I hope against hope that some fine day, Indian cinema and i mean mainstream cinema, not the offbeat types that ‘masses’ flock to for the ‘censored’ parts, changes its business equation and keep it real!

  2. Swapna

    Perfect Review!
    I felt the same, but u articulated it bang on!
    Not that i was expecting somethg great from this movie, just went for Homi Adjania!
    Honestly such movies dont even deserve such wonderful posts, they are so annoyingly irritating on script & performance!
    BUt yet enjoyed reading your rant since it echoed my unsaid fellings.. 😀

  3. It’s like I read this all over again http://mumbaiboss.com/2012/07/16/the-vigil-idiot-cocktail/

    My dislike started right when I heard Tumhi Ho Bandhu, why would you remix a bhajan into a party song ffs.

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